My undergraduate degree is in English. Of course, I had to read many works that left me confuzzled (confused and puzzled) - borrowed that from Nicole's niece. Anyway, I digress. Most of them I came to understand after a good class discussion. However, Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot still leaves me scratching my head. Trust me, tonight's blog is not an exegesis on this American literary masterpiece. It's after 10pm and more than 10 years since I read it.
As I sat thinking about my day, I felt like Estragon and Vladimir (play's main characters). Waiting, waiting, waiting for someone or something that never shows. And while I'm waiting, it seems like I'm living the same day over and over again with the same people to entertain me (Pozzo and Lucky) while I'm waiting. When I feel like this, I plan random road trips to Canada or do something to break up the monotony. So, since the trip is planned, I decided to break the monotony and join a dating site. I know I know...smh. Insanity (doing the same thing again and again expecting a different result). I was on this site in college and they've been sending me emails to join for years. Weekly, I delete them and keep going. Well, tonight I gave in. Now all I can hear is "wait on the Lord, again I say, wait!" Oh boy! Where is that still small voice when I'm in the midst of doing something insane? Oh yeah, smothered under my tantrums of "I want it now!". (Heavy, deep, disgusted sigh)
Like many 30-something single women, I want the family- the loving husband, the 2 kids and the nice house. Honestly, sometimes I do get confused. Should I be waiting until someone notices me or should I be active in the process? I know I must live my life while I'm waiting, but am I just supposed to push that part of my life to the side and just pray something happens or should I actively participate in meeting someone? This is more confuzzling than Beckett himself! (Another deep sigh) Don't mind my stream of consciousness. I know what I must do. I will LIVE. Pow3rful in Him, Chris
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